Fashion

There's a lot of fashion out there that is perfectly lovely.

But let's be honest. There are something that exist that just boggle my mind.

Have you heard of the 'Fashion eye patch'...

It exists.

But truthfully this is a positive for me.

I don't know how many of you know this little detail about me but I have a lazy eye. Not to the point where you see it rolling around in my head but the way it works it's about 30 times worse then my other eye.

Go ahead laugh... get it out of your system.

Continuing on. The only way to fix it is to put a patch over my eye. MY mom is for it because she thinks that without doing it my eye is going to fall out of my head.

She never overreacts.

But I just stand by the point I have a hard enough time making friends without having a giant patch over my eye. However now that there is a select group of people who wear it for fashion I could pretend to be among their numbers.

Call me ARRRRRGHHH ielle.

I had to.

Beware: Wielding Lasers

At work.

We have a scanner to scan bar codes.

Just be careful when trying to be a superstar at work and accidentally blind a client with the scanner.

Truthfully I wanted to laugh. But instead I went with "Well the good news is your priceless, you didn't ring up."

Maybe not my best joke but I never claimed to razor sharp wit anyways.

Please Read: It's a DEAL.

http://www.crunchgear.com/2009/02/06/creepy-hug-me-pillow-is-on-sale/

Greetings. I hate Hugs.

" Hello. My name is Arielle and I hate hugs. "

I imagine myself standing in a circle of people on plastic chairs. The florescent light flickering with a faint hum. We're encased in a rundown room in an inner city school. Everyone claps for me as I sit down and take a seat. Because my name is Arielle and I have a problem....

Or at least that's how people react to it when I tell people I hate hugging. OR wait. We don't "hate" we strongly dislike... (do you REALLY hate tomatoes Arielle? Or do you just "strongly dislike them"... actually I hate tomatoes).

People go in for the hug. I step back. They make a pouty face. I always will say something like "I don't really like to hug" and then the other person will gasp dramatically... "BUT WHY?!?!?!" Like there is something wrong with me. They believe I should be confined to some mental hospital or join a support group for people who hate affection. It's really not that.

Sigh. The truth is... I hate hugging because I have ape arms.

There. I said it.

I actually do have a really large wingspan. It's above average.... even for my height.

And the truth is it's just awkward to hug with my condition. I mean think about it. Situation 1: 2 people go in for the hug. They both have normal sized arms.... the wrap around each other, squeeze.... BOOM. It's done.

My problem is with my arms being significantly longer then the average person by the time I wrap my arms around them they are already pulling away, they already did the squeeze. Then I'm left holding onto them like some sort of freak. Then I have to explain about how my arms are like monsters... and for any of you Arrested Development fans I was thinking of this is my head - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVke__4OZ-0

and that's how I lose all my friends.

Or how about the "fug" the "fake hug" like that one you do in the car when you don't know how to leave people.... or greet them.

That's why I feel like Europe really knows what's going on.... The kisses... One on each cheek. It's truly the simplest and best greeting/parting thing I could think of. But if I tried to do that here... Oh wait. I did.

When I was a zombie at a Halloween party... Sure I may have had a little to drink and didn't think about it at the time. But I giggle a little when I think of how many people at the party left with some red corn syrup and peanut butter mix on their face... hehe.

Tart Sucree

Wonderful Cooking Class again on Tuesday... This time we made Tarts...

This is an apple, pear and cranberry tart that was A.May.Zing. I wish I could make the picture of my tart more Savory however this will have to do.

When will smell-o-vision get here?

Lol... OUT LOUD.

So I was listening to this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gVxRvNfFLg

And then I accidently scrolled down to where the comments were... I was about to scroll back up when this little gem caught my eye ...

• This song is the best pooping song ever. just get a toilet thats in front of a window, open the window, turn off the lights, listen to this and slowly start to poop. Its some deep shit literally

Thought I'd share. I laughed. I cried. I threw up a little in my mouth.

Found it.

While I was writing the coffee/caffeine thing I was looking for the proven facts on one particular drink that I found repulsive:

Cold Stone Creamery Gotta-Have-It-sized Lotta Caramel Latte
1,790 calories; 90 grams fat (57 grams saturated, 2.5 grams trans); 175 grams sugar

wow.

P.s.

Actually I will say this. Sexy animal costumes should be burned and banned.

Speaking of animals and costumes...

I think dressing up your animal in a stupid costume/human clothing article/shoes is a form of animal cruelty. I don't want to cause a big stir touching on these HARD HITTING issues but seriously. Does Cookie REALLY need to wear a mini purse and high heels?

How would you feel if someone did that to YOU? I let bandanas and bows slide of this subject.

It's like the kid on the leash. I mean seriously.

I feel like going up and petting that kid every-time I see one. Just to show how they are treating their kid like an animal. Hold their hand, put them in a stroller, love them.

Actually Bad parenting in general.

Voting and parenting are two things I think you should have to pass a test in order to do.

wow. We really are hitting all the touchy subjects tonight. Should I add racism, religion and the death penalty. Introducing the NEW World According to Arielle. Edgier. With worse spelling.

Halloween

Halloween is the time for dressing up, and having a little fun as someone NOT yourself.

But I'm always really disappointed by girl costumes. Being a girl I get really tired of the options that are out there for me READ: Sexy cop, sexy inmate, sexy school girl, sexy innocent cartoon character, sexy sailor, sexy witch, sexy nun, sexy french maid, sexy bar maid, sexy construction worker, sexy ball player... do we catch my drift. I am seething with jealousy at all the options the men/boys have. I mean truthfully... I think it sucks to be a girl on Halloween GASP! Yes. All the male readers are going to disagree... but seriously. I want one costume for a girl that's NOT sexy but not taken with the reaction "Looks like she's got something to hide" and/or "What's her problem besides the fact she's not fun/a prude" I want something FUNNY/CREATIVE/WITTY.

Like I've seen creative girl costumes but I can't even remember one ie: Unremarkable. And please tell me a good costume you've seen of a girls, readers because I could use more comments *cough*.

However to share some laughs I'll share with you some of the gems I've found that I find absolutely hilarious. Picture Comments: I really have to be selective with this because these pictures really ARE worth a 1000 words. Sexy Fox Costume: No Comment. I selected the Christmas tree, the boat and the washing machine for a reason... Kudos on the creativity. But can you imagine MOVING AROUND in those all night? Take the Christmas tree one... imagine going to a Halloween party in that. Giggles. Group shot of my first Halloween party of the season. I tried my best to not do sexy. I was pleased with the costume but disappointed in my lack of creativity.

NOOOO.

One of the stupid things about technology is the lack of permanence. EXAMPLE. I JUST SPENT 20 minutes typing out a blog entry then I accidentally closed it. ARGGGGGHHHH.

Seriously. Technology blows.

Slow Motion

Why does slow motion make everything cooler?

I observed this as I was watching the Full length version on Kanye West's video Runaway (I didn't finish it... it was too long). And there's a scene of a grouping of deer (pack? Herd? Crew?) (*SIDE NOTE* What is a group of the animal Moose called... Meese?)

and at first I just saw them as deer THEN A FAST ACTION SHOT TO THE SWEET SPORTS CAR. WHOA! THEN CUT! to the deer. But this time they weren't just normal deer. They were slow-mo walking sexy deer. And I was like. That's BAD ASS. But why? They're just deer... but it was like the slower speed gave them this sexy and powerful appeal (Not that I think deer are SEXY but whatever. I don't need to explain myself to you)

SO Then I got thinking. WHY is everything 10000000 times cooler in slow motion. In fact it gives the most MUNDANE situations this automatic coolness.

Really. It makes a group of men walking in a straight line down the street turn from gay and awkward to epically awesome. It makes a woman getting out of a pool automatically super hot. It makes someone drinking a glass of water from ordinary to EXTRAORDINARY. Should I ever GO to a bullet being shot at someone then their really awesome friend jumping out in front of it to take it for them. It turns from impossible to Heroic. Seriously. Do people who watch these movies even realize how fast those bullets go. Like you'd really have to get a running start to make it in time. They would have enough time to just be like "He's going to shoot you!" and then the gunman would be like "A$$hole!" and then turn the gun on the person who shouted that and it would save a lot of running. Unless PLOT TWIST... the friend who was originally getting shot at and then saved ran to take a bullet for their friend who was going to save them. But that friend wasn't as good as a friend the true friend thought they were and they didn't move to take the bullet. Jerk. It probably would have been easier to follow if I gave the friends names. But then you would thought something like "WHOA! Arielle... getting a little too detailed aren't we?"

It's pointless to use the $ signs as S's for swear words because we all know (abet more fun). Same goes for any swear word/symbols.....censoring in general but that's for ANOTHER day.

In fact slow motion is a lot like drinking... where things just seem cooler/sexier except with slow motion you never have that feeling like "That wasn't as cool as I thought it was at the time" because it's ALWAYS a good idea.

Sometimes when I want to look cooler I'll just walk really slow like I'm in slow motion. I find it's a good conversation piece at parties. Also people remember you more Example: "Hey! Weren't you that retard who walked in the room slowly... what are you ON?" And then you just fade into the background.....

Coffee Drinks and Calories

A cup of coffee is 7 calories.

HOW do you get coffee drinks to even get up to the numbers that Caribou and Starbucks are pumping out.

1000 calories for a drink?

What are you putting in there... lard?

I've attempted to make the highest calorie drink I could and it came up at about half of what these are. What's their secret?

Hehe.

Sizing

Just orderedn these delectable boots in leather online. I was in the store and the 9s were too big and the 7.5 was just a tad too small. I debated for a while ordering an 8 or an 8.5. GOsh. These tense decisions we have to make in life. Don't you wish you could always know the correct sizing?

Just a stupid thing to talk about.

But aren't they lovely?

A plead...

I'm just going to say how dissapointed I am on the strict excessive celebration policy that the NFL has going on. Who's hearts strings have not been plucked by Jared Allen roping up yet another running back, Going back to Steve Smith changing the ball's diaper, or Moss pre-trade pooping the football in our endzone, countless snow angels made and chain-sawing the other team's post down... these things are not offensive in fact they are far from it.... They are a wonderful tribute to that thing we call professional football. It's a game people, it's purpose is to be fun and entertaining.

I'm going to steal from my facebook and say if a 250 pound man has enough skill to do a standing leap frog over a 6'4" guy... let him do it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ln_ryO3DbkM&feature=related

Week Play-By-Play

Sunday - Saw Dave! Tony's Birthday party

Monday- Restrung my guitar, B&N, got my phone working... The Hanger Room.

Tues - Breadmaking Class with mi madre. If anybody wants me to make them a french loaf....

Wednesday - Rudolf's, Saki Bar and Minneapolis fun on a side note: We Killed it. Cause we're studs.

Thursday- Oil painting class and I think this was the day I saw Ben and Andy?

Friday - Hung out with Emily (Panera) got my Brides-maid dress before Kori (hehehe), Jose (Roman Market) and had some Apple Orchard fun. Pshhh. Almost forgot Best Buy.

Saturday - Bridal shower, Valleyscare with Nikki Lee :)

Sunday- Famous Daves, Football and Spending time with the Gramps.

And I do believe I'm currently filling out my save the date to mingle old fashioned-ly for Arielle plus one. Emily.... JacoRasmuss?

Sunday.

First day back and I spent it with my family for my cousin's mexican fiesta 7th birthday party.

Fun was had by all. And I know I suck for not dressing up.

I did bruise my tailbone doing an awesome flip while dodging out of the way of bullets and it actually did some damage for about 3 days. Does this mean I'm actually "growing up"?

Pictures: 1. My Grandpa Don and I. That's a fake mustache. 2. My cousins Tony and Trey. And that mustache is real

Smoking Lounges.

The Smokers lounge was something I had a little chuckle over in the Amsterdam Aiport.

It's this 10 by 10 ft glass room shoved into the corner next to NOTHING. It has no vents. And about 40 people crammed in there sucking on their cigs staring at these walls posted with dying people imagages and "smoking kills" campaigns.

Not that you can even see the walls the smoke is so thick in there.

Airport... FrOm HeLL!!!!!

Morning of the 8th I wake up at 8 am because my roomie had a job and I couldn't sleep. My flight is on the morning of the 9th.

Basically the entire day I spent NOT packing because of the good little procrastinator I am and it ended up being 11 pm with me sitting around all my possessions and whining that I needed more time... I think I finished at around 2 am when I get a knock on my door from the driver... I had enough time for a little moment with the roomies before I left. I might have shed a little tear :(.... Okay. I was SAD.

Driving to the airport was pretty uneventful however due to the rain and intense wind my driver had come for me at 2 am instead of the planned 3 am and I got to the airport an hour before I could check in. Boo.

So sleepy/wide awake from 8 cups of coffee Arielle sat with some Japanese tourists comparing cameras while waiting to check in. Awake hours count: 19 hours.

By the time 3:30 rolled around I was about ready to tap out for the day. I dragged my massive load of luggage over to the counter where the check-in clerk proceeds to burst into laughter followed by a "You're joking right?"

I have been living away from home since January. I ADMIT I might have picked up some things along the way. OKAY.

My main bag was only about 26/27 kilos and the maximum weight posted I think was 23... He let me slide. But my 12 kilo "purse" and my 19 kilo (maximum 7) carry-on were apparently no bueno. However the guy was nice enough to let me check it (my bag) before we got on the plane so I didn't have to pay the 150 euro overcharge. Outrageous I might add.

No sleep on the plan ride over to Amsterdam.... And I payed a ridiculous amount for my stupid Starbucks coffees.

Once I arrived in Amsterdam I was completely out of it. Awake hours Count: 26.

They also depressurized the cabin terribly so I was crying and moaning by the time we landed with my fellow 2 year olds' on board.

I stumbled out of the plane in a deaf stupor. Dragging my 30 pound purse on the ground in hopes of eating some food. Well turns out it was only 9 am and nothing was open. So I wondered aimlessly around the airport... I was thinking about going to the hotel to sleep but that plan didn't work out so I decided on the next best thing... a massage.

Which was actually delightful besides the announcement for late passengers that went off in 5 minute increments. However it was shockingly overpriced at 55 euros for 30 minutes.

Unfortunately for me, the massage didn't help me with my lack of sleep so now I've been up for 28 hours, my body feels boneless, I'm still dragging around my 30 pound duffel and I can't hear... so I walk up to the flight board and instantly see that Minneapolis is Closing their boarding time.

"F@$*"

Screaming I wrestle a cart away from some old lady (joke) and book it down to the complete opposite of the stupid airport because in these stories you are never conveniently located near your gate. I run up to the guy and the "CLOSED" light is flashing on the board... and I can barely make out the shout "YOU CAN'T BOARD". Thankfully always calm, cool, collected Arielle starts trying to argue with the man about why I can't board. Saving myself some embarrassment I'm just going to say that there happened to be two flights to Minneapolis that day and I was the later one.

So now I'm just plain upset so I decide to go eat my feelings away with some McDonald's. The restaurant I wanted to eat at wasn't open. Typical.

Fast forward to 1:15 pm I go to board my plane. Awake hours Count: 30. I'm carrying my laptop because I just have a giant purse that I shoved all my shit into and i don't like it sitting on the ground.... I enter the security gates. I get stuck with this woman who you KNOW takes her job was too seriously. I get the typical questions: did you pack your bag etc. Then I get thrown the where were your bags last night. Answering "At my house" is a WRONG ANSWER friends. Who knew...

"Well... how do you have a house? Why were you there? Why are you holding your laptop? How long were you there? How long does your visa last there? Why do you have two visas? Why are you coming home now?"

I mean this woman WOULD NOT STOP. I had to tear open all my possessions to show her proof of blah blah blah. At around her 6th trip to her supervisor to tell her how suspicious I am I get a tap on my back followed by a "Would you please step this way ma'am".

Good. God.

This is the SECOND time I have been dragged to the little white room in the back of the airport for being checked in Amsterdam.

It's. not. funny. anymore.

Hour and 45 minutes I was in this blasted room. After ranting on the main guard for 10 minutes about how I am a 120-pound, white, christian, republican from Minnesota and I think I fall into the category of least likely to do whatever then think I was going to do.... I was allowed to board my plane... And OF COURSE "I" held it up ... and the amount of glaring I got from the other passengers was uncalled for.

Plane ride: I'm just going to say this. I slept nothing the entire ride. I sat next to a man who should be a frozen statue for a living and proceeded to give me a death glare every time I even shifted a fraction of an inch. And I sat next to babies in the middle isle.

Upon yet another badly depressurized cabin I got through security without being able to hear and barley function... Awake hours count: 40. I learned that my luggage had been lost.

Why Not.

I think I'm going to continue this blogging. However my lack of free time since I've been back might interfere but let's see what happens.

Car Pictures in Istanbul

So First! Countdown is Currently at 1 day 14 hours 29 min until I'm leaving for the airport.

WE ARE AT LESS THEN 48 HOURS PEOPLE.

Major news.

I'm going to begin my packing today perhaps. Yesterday I went to Old Town and did touristy things which was superfun. I also bought luggage straps so you guys can stop holding your breath. It's incredible how LONG it took me to find them... I mean seriously. You guy should see how MANY stores there are here. It was appalling. But that's me just being dramatic.

So I got some pictures today from my friend Jana I thought I would share. I thought it was funny/appropriate that they were all in the car, seeing as that's how I spent a majority of my trip here.

Pictures: 1. A hot mess after a job. 2. Crowded car picture... typical. 3. Yet another crowded car picture. 4 to a 2 person seat as always Ricardo, Jana, Jeff and I. And I think I see daniel running a smooth hand through his mane of hair in the background.

I easily consumed my weight in candy today. All I can do is lay in bed and moan. It hurts so good.

Maybe eating more would make me feel better....

Surprise :)

I got the BEST package in the mail today. Thank you B :)

Truly brightened up my day in an Amazing way!

Inside: Cheez-its, Sour Patch kids, Reese's pb cups, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Barney Bear's Pizza Shop, Chelsea Handler's My Horizontal Life and a note.

It was possibly the best package I've ever gotten.

Oh and all the nutrition facts were crossed off "for my own good". That means it doesn't count right? Though I didn't notice till I finished half of the cheez-its, all the sour patch kids and 13 reese's...and read it in the note. Haha.

Job

Today I did a photoshoot for a burka clothing company based in Egypt. We went all around Istanbul including the Blue Mosque. Emily and I adventured inside while waiting for a lighting setup.... since we were dressed for it... it was so. STUNNINGLY beautiful... but I'll elaborate more on this later.

Yes.

http://vimeo.com/10154962

Cigarettes = Death and other things.

This is something that I find funny. Though it's NO LAUGHING MATTER people.

So cigarettes are bad. We all know that. I'm not sure what the policy is in the US but here in Turkey on all the packs of cigarettes they have to put a warning label and a picture.

Granted most of the pictures are sad or disgusting like the cancer lungs or the child dying but there is ONE I think is funny. Picture posted. The caption? Literally translates to:

non-blood and sexual impotence causes the strap slows

Look at that unhappy couple.

The Giant Dog

Our Agency bought a giant black glossy dog sculpture.

I'm glad their money is going towards useful things.

Keeping those priorities straight Flash.

Kitty

I MAY have picked up a stray kitten on my way home with Emily. She named it Monkey.

Mom... Dad... Can I keep it?

I'm just going to touch on the subject of strays here. It is incredible the amount of strays that are loose here in the city. EVERYWHERE you go. They used to have ten times more accoding to my sources but now what they do it pick them up, neuter or spay them, tag them, then release them back in the 'wild'.

I never realized why places like the human society in the US was so strict on making sure the animal you bought had this done, but now I realize why.

By the way: Keep it on the D.L. I'm 100% sure these shenanigans aren't allowed in our apartment. But LOOK at that face!

New Photo :)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/meryemyilmazmakeup/5004356458/

Test Run

I did a test run packing today.

I didn't even finish the test run. I'll probably procrastinate that until it's time for me to really pack. And here's something rediculous and stupid. Your first bag is free but overweight bags are $150. OUTRAGEOUS.

Oh and guess who's suitcase is broken?

But snaps for me because I'm way ahead compared to last time where I threw everything in a bag 3 hours before my flight took off.

Wienerwald.

Need I say more?

Wait. I should probably talk about the chain's mascot "Wieney" the wonderchicken.

Okay... I got it out of my system. Wait. OKay. Now I do....

Dishes.

So did you know that when you type out a blog but don't post it... it's automatically saved? You're welcome for not posting most of them. Oh god. But it's better now than never...

Oh my. I forgot to talk about this as well.

Sooner then later right fans?! *Cough* mom, dad *cough*

I did a fantastic two-series (I know it's not correct but it's my blog and series sounds cooler) dish commercial in Turkey.

I will try and upload the video that the crew made which was AMAZING by the way but here are some pictures. YES it was a long day but the BEST director Divrim Erdogan and his truly fantastic crew made it a great time.

I was a magician who could magically change dining sets on tables. Think "I dream of Genie" style.

Arielle "Magic-hands" Peterson. Wait... you can't nickname yourself?

Story Time! Warning: explicit details

So the travel size packages of kleenex was a delightful reminder of something more or less forgotten from my first period in Barcelona.

DID I EVER TELL YOU...

but before I get into it. I KNOW you little kiddies are getting giddy over the "explicit details" at the top. That's just because this story deals with drugs and poop.

So there was this wonderful man-bum who lived across the street near that dumpster in the picture. He was a cocaine addicted crazy who was more or less harmless and little fun to watch. He would walk around with his 2 mini packets of kleenex trying to sell them to passing cars who were unfortunate enough to get stuck at the light. He would pace back and forth through the lanes for no apparent reason.

Well one day this man was found in BROAD daylight crouching with his pants down pooping... YES pooping into his own hand and flinging it around the streets. Much like those very distant cousins we like to call monkeys (why is it a y and not ie?) It is a spectacle repulsive to watch yet incredibly fascinating. (graphic) I mean throw in the straining grunting noises and you have something that is a webgem.

I get a giggle over this every-time. I may not be the best story teller but if you think of this at a later time and smile... let me know.

Window Washers

I mentioned talking about this before but I forgot so despite delay this is it.

There are a lot of ways people make money in Turkey... Obviously begging, selling of goods like kleenex tissues (Barcelona story after), baked goods, water and the most fun one to me... window washing.

I know what you're thinking "Hey Arielle... people do that in the USA." or maybe "A practical service because everyone likes a clean car window"

However cleaning isn't the exact words I would use for what they do to the car. In fact between the dirty water and filthy squeegee the car window ends up looking three times worse most of the time.

Which is actually quite genious if you think about it. 1 out of every 10 people would probably pay for a cleaner window.. but 9 out of 10 people will pay you to keep away from their windows if you make them more dirty....

You sneaky non-tax paying SOBs. Kudos to you.

TV Show

I did an episode for a TV News Program that isn't real news but for laughs... it's a lot like America's "Onion"

The episode was based on this TV network in Turkey called "FashionOne" I have NO IDEA who would actually watch this crap but is a 24-7 fashion network that plays runway shows one after the other. The TV show obviously wanted to make fun of it... so "supposedly" the FashionOne network did a survey on who watches their show the most. And in this joke survey apparently this tiny small town where they don't even have cars... at this all men coffee cafe ended up being the most devoted watchers. So in the episode FashionOne to thank their loyal views sent a bunch of models to this town to put on a runway show for them and in the end of the episode it zoomed out on us models partaking in typically man-activities for Turkey like smoking pipes, playing cards etc.

For the job we ended up crowding in a bus for 2 hours to drive to this tiny town in Turkey... we had to film in a men's only coffee cafe which is actually a pretty typical thing for small towns. The place is called Kafve and no women are allowed. We actually had to run 3 blocks to use the bathroom because there is no women's bathrooms in this place. We had to film us walking through the streets with children and chickens running with us... and of course the runway show and finishing it up we played games with the men. I ended up playing backgammon with this 80 year old turkish man who insisted he had to teach me how to play, but with the language barrier it ended up being really silly. Apparently to show you are a strong masculine player you need to slap down the chips as hard as you can and grunt.

I think I need some work.

Shoot.

A very fun Charity shoot for Vogue's "Fashion Night Out"

Tourist

Some tasty touristy pictures for you eyes.